OKAY, OKAY, OKAY, OKAY, SOOOOOOOOOOO....
Has anyone seen my new Instagram post? Which post you ask? This post ^^
So, like I said, I'm releasing new music. But I've been getting a couple questions about why and how I'm doing it so I thought I'd go into a bit more depth about what's going on.
When I released The Blue Book Project, it was supposed to be more of a "last hurrah" rather than a stepping stone to where I am now. I truly intended it to be the last thing I did in music before I took up a career sitting in a lab looking at neurons. But, as we all know, that didn't happen. I continued with music because it makes me happy; happy in a way that academics can't. I write, play and sing because I'm over the moon about it.
Finishing The Blue Book Project was one of the most amazing things that happened to me, but it also took everything I have. I wrote and produced the whole thing as well as played a ton of the instrumental and - frankly - invested a lot of money in it. I originally had thought about releasing a new EP over the summer but I wasn't interested on taking on this project solo. I've learned that I'm not a great producer and I needed someone who saw my passion and my ideas and executed them. But after searching and reaching out I couldn't find a producer that I was in love with...well I couldn't find a producer that I'm in love with that I would be able to afford.
I'm still in school. I'm still studying and writing exams and pulling all-nighters trying merely to pass. I'm still eating plain pasta for dinner at least once a week because I didn't have time to go grocery shopping. I barely fit in time to sleep and shower, let alone spend hours in a studio. Don't get me wrong, I'd rather spend time in a studio, but my education is still something I really value and need to see it through. And like most students, I'm not financially in the place I need to be to make such a large investment like producing a new album.
On the other hand, I'm writing so much new music. Music that is more mature, more powerful and music that I'm so excited to share. Social media-wise, I'm in a place where my posts are reaching people outside of my immediate circle and I'm truly getting to share my content. I've been posting bits and pieces of music on my stories and it is being so well received. I want to share this music I've been writing but I don't have the means to do it...
So I've decided to move forward anyway and post new music on social media. I understand that this is a change of pace from The Blue Book Project, but it gives me the space to post songs that I'm proud of while still giving me piece of mind. It's through all the amazing support I've been getting that this is even an option, and I appreciate all of the love that has been sent my way. There are two videos that will be coming out in the next couple weeks and I'm restless waiting to share them. I hope you love them as much as I do. Until then, remember to subscribe, follow and like all my media pages to know and keep up with what's going on. (P.S. if you have a Gmail account, you can subscribe to channels on YouTube)
From me, with love, to you,
Before we get into this, I would like to write a little disclaimer. New Year's and New Year's Eve are stupid. The two are over-hyped beyond belief. Don't put all this pressure on one night, because it will likely be sub par. I understand how cliche of a view this is, but I want to make sure we're all on the same page. I don't condone this whole "the world will be different tomorrow" idealized way of thinking. Just considering New Year's does create a bit of division between Dec 31 and Jan 1, it's convenient to set the bar for the next 365 days. But that doesn't mean at any point throughout the year you can't readjust your life because it's not working for you. That being said, here we go:
As we wind down 2018 and look onto 2019 I'm starting to think a lot about what the last year looked like as well as what the next 365 days will look like. As my birthday occurs fairly close to the end of the year, and I did a "what I learned" type post on my birthday (holy shit...sometimes I forget that I'm 20 and no longer "adorably irresponsible" but more just "irresponsible"), this post will mainly be looking forward.
So looking onto 2019, what do I want? I'd love to be in slightly better shape, but since my body composition is 90% grilled cheese, I'm pretty sure that's going to be attainable. Let's try to come out of 2019 at around 75% grilled cheese. Don't worry you're not going to get any healthy, nutty lifestyle posts from me. It would just be nice to walk up stairs and not sweat, I'm not willing to commit to a gym membership or anything, just maybe get out into the world a bit more. Thank goodness I got my Whistler pass. And of course, physical and mental health are tied with this cute little bow so it can't hurt, can it?
I want to focus more consistent attention on my social media, not just when it's easy. I want my social media to reflect me as an artist and how passionate I am about my music. It's getting there, but not quite. And obviously, I have numerical goals I'd like to hit. I'm so appreciative of the 2100 people who are watching me grow on Instagram, but I'd love to hook some new people over the next year. As anyone does, I love seeing growth and I love seeing results from the effort I put in.
I'd love to study a little bit harder. As I throw around every once in a while, I'm studying Behavioural Neuroscience at UBC and I'm doing adequately. That being said, I know I'm smarter than I'm doing. So just make more time to focus on school. I don't want to come out of university thinking all I did was study, but I also don't want to look back and regret the way I went to university.
And my final thought on 2019 is...new music. I had been back and forth a lot on releasing new music professionally this year. But as a student, getting everything together to record is all-consuming. I've been writing about so many things going on in my life, and I'm so proud of the music I'm writing. It's more mature, more personal and I love it, but I don't want to wait around for the "right moment" to share it. So keep your ears open because Instagram, Sound Cloud and YouTube will be full of music over the next year.
So there are my big goals. Calling goals might even be a stretch, more like "themes". Health, social media, school, and (my favourite) new music. Don't worry, I don't expect 2019 to be this bombshell of a year where I find love, break the top charts and cure cancer, but striving for better is always nice. Pushing yourself to be a little bit greater than the day before. And also, anything can happen, I mean my chocolate-cake-looking-ass posted a photo in a bathing suit in 2018. Never thought that would be a thing to happen. So in my own, long, rambling way, I guess I'm wishing everyone the happiest of New Year's, and wishing everyone good luck in whatever their themes, goals or resolutions may be.
From me, with love, to you,
I have finally reached the end of this term - this long, long term. Don't worry, this is not a "what I've learned" post, because I've made plenty of those in the past little bit, this is a thank goodness post.
The year, school and otherwise, is winding down before 2019 explodes, and I'm thankful to be off my feet and not using my brain for at least the next two weeks. I can't wait to call Toronto home for another little bit, see my family, have a glass of bubbly and eat until I'm nauseous.
You'll definitely hear from me over the next little bit, don't worry I still have more to say, but I'm hoping to really take this break as "break" - granted that's not really in my nature.
I'll see you all soon and hopefully everyone's Christmas shopping is underway :)
From me, with love, to you,
I guess I'm not necessarily mid-finals. More early finals considering I still have 5/7 left to write. (Don't feel bad for me I did this to myself). And seeing as finals season gives me a lot of time to myself to consider things that I don't usually have time to think about I'm going to word vomit here a little. Also, considering this has become a fairly public journal, what do I have to lose?
So here's my thought for the day: do people I write about know that I'm writing about them? This all started when I was picking songs for The Blue Book Project, and there were all these songs I wanted to include about people I had previously had feelings for. At that point, they seemed so distant from where I was. I had moved away from Toronto and most of the boys that played a role in that album hadn't had any significant place in my life for around two years. In my mind, I had riddled up our stories pretty well and I doubt they'd check in on my music or listen to my album. Essentially, I doubt the names behind 10 or Cheers know that those songs exist, or that I play their stories in bars across Canada and have them on my album (sorry boys). In addition, when I released The Blue Book Project I was in a serious relationship. And that boy knew all my songs and who they were about, so it wasn't like these songs about current unrequited love. I was really happy in my relationship, I was telling stories I already knew the end to.
But now that I'm single things are more complicated. Granted I've been single for a while, but I'm finally getting to a place where I'm considering releasing new music. And between me, myself and I, I have been writing about people in my life (whether or not they're aware of it). The bits and clips on my Instagram stories all feature people from my recent past.
Now please, take this with a grain of salt. I have not been necessarily painting the town red in the last year and a bit. My single life is made up primarily of school, sorority, music and intensive amounts of Marvel movies - I truly am a catch. But at the ripe age of 20, it's safe to say that I catch feelings for unsuspecting people who make occasional features in my songs. Which brings me back to my original question: if I release music in the next year, would these boys know it's about them? Are my songs specific enough for them to know it's them? Or have I written in details in a way I would understand but they don't? So many questions.
I've made my emotions and my art really quite public. I've created a public online journal....and I've never really had to think about the consequences of this until last October:
My ex comes by to drop off some stuff and looks at my guitar on the floor and goes "Oh, so you've been writing about me?" And in that moment I realised that the next album I release he'll be on, and he'll know and all my friends will know and his friends will know and unless I can riddle the fuck out of our story it's going to be so public. Also, the assumption that I'm not allowed to just play guitar was frustrating but that's its own rabbit hole.
So there's my word vomit. My little train of thought that I'm writing 99% to sort out my own opinion on it. And I still don't know where I stand. I love writing more than anything. It's truly one of the only things in the world that makes me so genuinely happy. I get to tie up all my feelings in between choruses and verses and it makes my life so much more manageable. And I love sharing my music, but there is also part of me that is nervous about making my thoughts and feelings so public. Ah, too much thinking I need to go study.
From me, with love, to you,
P.S. Over the break and the next little bit the website my go through some formatting changes. Please bear with me :)
So ladies and gents, here we are, the big 2-0. I know it's been a while since I've written here but now is just as good a time as any. As the sun sets on 19 I want to acknowledge the things I've learned, the things that have changed in this last year for better or worse.
I've learned that mental health is not static. I'm fairly open about my mental health struggles, because I hope that by sharing my story, it will make someone else feel that little bit more normal. While I still have bumps and patches, the last year has done wonders for me. I've grounded myself in Vancouver and found people I love to the moon and back out here. I've found parts of myself I haven't seen in years. . Parts of me that are intelligent and witty. Parts of me that are truly unapologetic about who I am.
I've learned that not everything is 9-1-1 status. That my high-strung-ed-ness is nice, but not always necessary. That all the energy I put into worrying about tiny things is wasted. And not that I don't still panic when I face a problem, but that it's okay to step back and realize that so many things in this world are non-issues.
I've reinforced the fact that I am, and forever will be, bad at sports.
I've gained confidence in who I am as a musician. I refer to myself as a musician. And not in a "maybe I will, might just, should be a back-up plan way" but in a real-world way. I'm an artist through and through. Even if just for myself, I'm a musician and I am so proud of myself for pursuing that.
I've learned that I don't need to look like everyone else. I'm 6ft and that alone will set me apart. But I've learned it's fun to wear blue eyeliner and 5 inch heels JUST CAUSE. I've learned that beauty is objective and if you are constantly poking and prodding yourself, you can always find a flaw. There's nothing wrong with wanting to better the way you look, but there's only so much you can do with what you're born with.
I've learned that not everyone you like will like you back. And yes, I should've learned this about 20 years ago, but it's a lesson I relearn everyday. You can do everything right, you can be pretty kick ass, but you can't force someone to like you when they just don't. And it's not a you thing, it's not even a them thing. It's chemistry. In the immortalised words of my fellow (fictional) Canadian, Robin Scherbatsky "If you have chemistry you only need one other thing. Timing.". (P.S. yes I did rewatch How I Met Your Mother, yes it holds up)
So, here's to 19. The year I performed my first live show. The year I built a wall at my cottage. The year I learned what time management really means. The year I started my website. The year I saw myself as a musician, and a damn good one at that.
Thank you for reading my terribly sappy post. For my long post. And for waiting around while I got my ducks in a row. And if nobody else reads this that's fine, at least I have something to look back on and ground me in the next 365 days of insanity.
So 20, bring it on.
From me, with love, to you,
Hey friends! I know it's been a while but school has got me in a bit of a whirl wind! I've loved being back in Vancouver and surprisingly enough I'm not drowning in school (congrats to me).
Unfortunately there's not a ton going on to tell anyone. I will be at The Second Floor Eatery tonight and more shows are coming but pretty much this is all. If something exciting happens...I'll let you know....
From me, with love, to you,
This week has been massively busy, the first week of school and THREE shows. So here's how everything went down!
September 3rd - Garden Party: Garden Party was the so unique from anything I'd ever done. It was a formal-ish hipster event that kind of turned into a night club. But it was also an amazing space to try out some new music. I'm so grateful that Calendar included me in their event and and so honoured that I got to share the stage with some amazing artists.
September 5th - Live at Lunch: This was such a wonderfully familiar setting. It was like formal busking. People walked by and watched on their way to and from class. I really appreciated the time people gave me especially during such a busy part of their day, and of course I loved getting to share my music with new people. Thank you to AMS Events for including me in this event, I had so much fun!
September 7th - The Roxy: I love performing at the Roxy. I got to share the stage with The Carbons and Northern Lights Drive and both played amazing sets. Thank you to all the people who came to see me.
So I'm going to take a little bit to study and breathe. If you missed me I'll be at the Second Floor Eatery on Robson on September 28th!
So friends, I'm officially on my summer break, no work, no shows, no nothing. And granted my break is only going to last about ten days, it's going to be an amazing ten days. I am relaxing in the my quiet corner of the world and I constantly feel like I'm letting all the tension out.
Just in case you're curious about the plans I have made for the next little bit, I can give you the run down. So I've got a couple videos coming out and some of the photos are already on Instagram, and of course, they'll be on the website as well.
In terms of shows, as of yet I know about three confirmed. I'll be at a UBC event (Garden Party) on September 3rd, The Roxy September 7th and the Second Floor Eatery on September 28th. I'm trying out new music all the time and hoping to see familiar and new faces at all of these events.
So that's mostly what's going on, I'll be back once I'm all sun tanned and well rested. Enjoy whatever summer vacation you have left!
From me, with love, to you,
So it's officially been 14/17 weeks of my summer vacation and I'm starting to prep to head back to Vancouver. It's been a crazy summer so far and I appreciate everyone who has been keeping up with it.
Last night I had the privilege to sing at the Women in Music Vol. 6 event and I had so much fun! I got to meet and watch 4 extremely talented ladies and get to know some amazing people. Thank you so much to everyone who came out and supported and I will be back at C'est What in a week with Chris Blachford.
So what else is going on you ask? Not a whole lot. As summer winds down I'm starting to book for Vancouver so keep eyes and ears open for that. Also, I'll be in and between Ontario and New Brunswick for the next little bit, getting tanned, taking some time off work and relaxing before the madness that is school kicks off.
I'm so excited to head back to Vancouver and also nervous to see what this year will bring. I've started packing in all the exciting things I'm going to be doing and realizing I'm going to have a lot of balls in the air.
So that's a little life update and I can't wait to see what's going to happen in the next little bit.
From me, with love, to you,
Lately, I've been busking a TON and it makes me so excited. But I also have been getting so many questions about what happens when I busk and how I feel about it so I thought this would be a good place to put everything down that I know and have learned.
1) I'm not offended if you don't put money in my case. Yes, I'm a little sad when people hang around for 20-30 minutes of my set, clap, compliment and then walk away but I understand. I never have change on me - EVER - so I often don't have stuff to give to buskers. If you don't have money on you, I also appreciate social media follows, and my Instagram handle is always posted when I busk.
2) If I ask questions or try to interact with people walking by, don't be afraid. I do it because it makes my set more interesting and I love getting to know the people who listen to my music. I'm not going heckle anyone, I just want to interact.
3) Not everyone will be happy with what I do when I busk. People are upset by the fact that I don't play a wider variety of genres (specifically reggae???), what I wear, whether or not I wear makeup, that I play too much or not enough original music. I can't win, so I do what feels right for me and honestly, it's been working so far.
4) I really do try to learn all of the suggestions I'm given, I just don't always have time or it doesn't fit with my voice. Songs can take a lot of time to sit well in my voice and I don't want to play stuff that I know just won't work and I'm not excited about.
5) I love Disney, but I don't play Disney music.
6) To all of the lovely individuals who have asked me out while I'm busking. I will always say no. I don't say yes to anyone while I'm busking mainly for safety reasons. It's not because I'm mean or hate you. Busking can be dangerous sometimes downtown and I have been caught in sticky situations before when boundaries have been completely over stepped, so I don't say yes to anyone anymore. Super flattered, and even if I want to, I'll always say no.
7) I am so appreciative of the vendors. They are so supportive, friendly and kind. They feed me and give me presents during and after my shift. They drop money in my case and always support my music career. They have listened to my set an ungodly number of times now and their support means the world to me. On hot stinky days they give me water, they watch my equipment for me when I need to go to the bathroom, and they are familiar faces when I'm having a rough day.
8) I don't get paid by the market I busk for, but I don't need a busking licence to work with them. I'm not fussed though, I'm really content with the amount that I make when I busk, and they give me lots of hours.
9) I love what I do. I am so lucky that I found an outlet at such a young age to do what I want to do. I love meeting new people, hearing new stories, and trying out new music. I love opening myself up to strangers and receiving such positive feedback. Music makes me so happy and even when it's 45 degrees, I'm sunburned and dehydrated I still feel so lucky to do what I do.
I hope I answered some questions or at least you learned something new today. I'm playing at C'est What on July 29th and August 5th so stay tuned for more updates because I'm starting to book in Vancouver now.
From me, with love, to you,
What's going on?
Here's a place where I'll try to keep you updated on what's going on in my life and with my music to keep you connected.