Hey girl hey! So summer 2019 is coming to a close and I thought I'd check in with everyone and drop some pearls of wisdom courtesy of my personal life experience.
The last four months have been full. As much as life seems static at times, if I actually think about landing in Toronto four months ago, I can't really begin to explain all the things I've done between now and then So let's take a moment to reflect on some of the little tidbits of knowledge I've stocked up on this summer.
1) Sometimes a failure is just a delayed success.
This one comes courtesy of my driving test(s). So this story requires a little bit of backtracking; I have always been shitty at taking driving tests. Always. My first driving test involved tears and sweating and profuse apologies for not being able to parallel park. I obviously failed that test. I would go on to fail my next test on a technicality before getting my learner's permit on the third try. Out of fear of repeating my previous mishap, I delayed getting my full license all of last summer - despite my dad (my harshest critic) saying I had become a very good driver.
So, as I wanted to get my license before the 5-year Ontario deadline expired (I would have had to start all over again) I attempted to get my license last Christmas but was turned away due to a broken taillight.
This summer, was my summer. Even though the thought of driving tests still caused a rumbling in my stomach, I was on a time crunch and was not fucking around. I practiced and prepped and drove the area where my road test was supposed to happen and I felt ready. But (as you can probably expect), I failed that road test as well. I called my dad in tears and he told me "What the fuck, don't cry, just take it again" (which was very much expected of my dad if you've ever met him).
So, a little over two weeks later I was back on the road with slightly calmer hands. I had already failed once, there wasn't a whole lot worse that could happen. But (third time's the charm) I passed and got my full license.
Now this rambling story may have led you to believe that I should not be allowed to share the road with the rest of you but it reminded me of the classic "if at first you don't succeed, try, try again" because that's what I did. I went after something I wanted and ultimately succeeded, yes there were some failures along the way, but now I never have to take another driving test. So keep both eyes on the road, cause I'm out there now.
2) Not every idea has to be a good idea.
Now I have to admit, this idea is not mine. This lesson comes from a certain man-friend.
He and I were talking about a song I had written. I was really excited about the idea, and had spent a really long time tweaking and moving parts around to bend the metaphor to sound the way I wanted it to. My mom had heard me banging around on the piano for about a week when I finally pulled her upstairs to show her. I played the whole thing out for her and turned around expecting to see a proud mama, however she was just a little "meh" about the song.
I was so frustrated, I felt like I was holding a new single and she took a big dump on my idea. Looking back, I was definitely asking for an ego fluff, not a legitimate opinion. So I messaged my man-friend (and all of his wisdom) and he responded with two things: One, it's my song so if I thought it was good it shouldn't really matter; two, people with good creative ideas also have bad creative ideas.
And that concept was terrifying; I could have bad songs. A song that I laboured over could absolutely suck, no matter how much I cared about it. It was then I realized, that there was a point in which all my songs were bad. I have a secret file on my computer filled with garbage from when I was nine and thought I understood the difference between a chorus and a verse (oh man was I wrong).
No human being will be brilliant every moment of every day. I've been setting unrealistic expectations for my writing, thinking I am only going to pump out hits, which we all is impossible. It is this pressure which has likely the root cause of my writer's block.
P.S. I reopened that song up and reworked it, definitely one of my favourite new songs ;)
3) Work and fun are not mutually exclusive.
As I've mentioned, I've worked in retail for three summer in a row
And in the past I have worked my little booty off, picking up double shifts and babysitting and running from job to job to try to save all my pennies (or I guess nickels since Canadians don't have pennies anymore). But every August hits like a son of a bitch and I burn out, spending the last month of summer bitter about a job that has no relevance to my field of study, feeling like I missed out on summer vacation.
So this summer I took a step back, I picked up less shifts and made sure I took time every week to recuperate (Oh my God a work-life balance, who is she?). Drank the booze, had the girls nights out, and most definitely felt the hangovers; but somehow never burnt out at work.
And to my surprise, I saved more money this summer than I have in previous summers. Yes sure I spent money on drinks and dinners etc. but I didn't spend so much money on buying lunch at work because I had time to meal prep. I didn't spend as much money buying clothes, because I wasn't as stressed (yes, I am an avid user of retail therapy).
I was able to have an enjoyable summer, while saving a lot of money for Vancouver. Like I said, the two are not mutually exclusive.
So those are my three lessons. Yes, I learned other things such as: don't get an IUD and go to work the same day (the cramps will kill you). Or, some people are always going to be assholes (that one is courtesy of my ex), but those two seemed pretty self-explanatory. I felt like these three were the most valuable to share. In 1 week I will be back in Vancouver and my life with be a whirlwind all over again. Goodbye summer, hello school. Can't wait.
From me, with love, to you,
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