Blind Dates

So obviously the dating game has been a little dry. It’s a pandemic.

I was on the dating apps for quite a while, but deleted them all right before Christmas because I realised how futile it all was. I was never going to meet up with any of the guys I was talking to, Toronto is currently under a “stay at home” order. However, upon deleting the apps, I’ve realised my brain has a lot of space to think about things I wouldn’t otherwise. So, my brain stumbled across the topic of blind dates.

I have a slightly backwards opinion about blind dates. I would be happy to set someone up but for some reason I’ve always been opposed to being set up. Which seems silly in and of itself. It’s even sillier knowing my family history. Blind dates are commonplace in my family. My family has a good history with getting set up. My parents, my grandparents and two of my uncles have marriages that resulted from blind dates. That’s 80% of my maternal family. That’s a lot of family. So why don’t I want to be set up when I know so many successful instances?  

Blind dates make complete sense. My dad always said, it’s the most personal dating app you can have. Two people get set up based on interests and personality, not a random algorithm. Let’s say you know Fred from high school. Fred loves family, the Toronto Raptors, cooking and works in finance. You also know Michael because you and Michael do yoga together. Michael is a chef who is runs a family restaurant (because he really values his family). Michael is also an avid follower of the Raptors and appreciates financial security. It would only make sense that next time you go to yoga you say, “OMG Michael, I have a guy that’s perfect for you.” And then Michael and Fred have a Raptors themed wedding and BOOM the rest is history (okay, I may have lost you on Raptors-themed wedding, but I didn’t create very dynamic characters so I didn’t have a lot to work with). The point is, you set up Fred and Michael because you saw that they would work well together. And maybe, if you’re quite the psychologist, you would see that Fred and Michael have traits that compliment each other. Maybe Fred is strong headed and can help Michael become more confident. Maybe Michael has good ideas but doesn’t have the execution skills that Fred has. The point is Fred and Michael weren’t a random match. They weren’t strangers that met at a bar or swiped on a dating app, you saw potential and created a scenario in which that potential could be acted upon.

And, because it’s me, I thought of How I Met Your Mother. For those of you that don’t know, HIMYM follows the adventures of Ted Mosby as he attempts to find love, settle down, get married and have kiddos. And Ted doesn’t just stumble through his own love life, but consistently dive bombs it. Just crash and burn after crash and burn. So, during one particular episode, Ted goes to friends Lily and Marshall and requests a blind date. While the episode is good, there is one line in particular that stands out: Ted says, “I’m bad at picking [dates]”. DOES THAT NOT HIT HOME? Because holy shit that hits home for me.

I’m terrible at picking dates. When I want a relationship, I find boys who only want to hookup, and when I want to just hookup, boys are looking to settle down. I pick fuck boys, frat boys, boys with commitment issues, boys that are still hung up on their exes, or boys that want to get married tomorrow morning. Oh my god…I’m Ted Mosby.

Here’s the curious part. As much as my family is full of blind date success stories, I can’t think of a single couple my age that resulted from a blind date. You see them in movies and TV shows, but nobody I know is the result of a blind date. I’ve never even met someone who has gone on a blind date in the last 10 years. The idea seems so simple, so obvious, so untapped.
And maybe it’s an idea that has simply fallen out of favour. Blind dates feel a little antiquated. Why would you need blind dates when you could use a dating app? And sure, Tinder, Bumble and Hinge give you more options, but they’re not setting you up for success. Yes, Bumble has made some strides by adding features like “I’m a dog person” or “I want to have kids when I’m older”, but I don’t think it’s the same as getting set up by a person who knows you very well. I’ve really given dating apps my best shot, but I’ve come up a little empty handed. I want a boy that has the same type of humour I have or at least is kind enough to laugh at my crappy jokes. I want someone family oriented with good communication skills and likes to ski. I think dating apps have great algorithms, I think they’re giving it their best shot, but they will never know me as well as a close friend or family member.

Anyways, so I’ve decided, blind dates are the bees’ knees. I know right now they’re not really an option, dating is kind of off the table entirely for the time being. But when the world opens up again, I’m thinking this is the way to go. I mean, I hear the success rate is pretty high, so what do I have to lose?

From me, with love, to you,

-Victoria 

---