Happy Valentine's Day

So love birds, another Valentine's Day is upon us. 

And if we're being honest, I wasn't really sure where I was going with this post when I started it. I wanted to comment on this love-fest of a holiday, but the "I hate Valentine's Day" and "hallmark holiday" shtick have been written into the ground. Moreover, when single people say that they're happy being single, it never sounds genuine. Like if I say "oh I'm actually really happy right now being on my own" 9/10 people picture me with a pint of Ben and Jerry's, a glass of red wine and a cat. Well WRONG, I don't have a cat...and now I'm really craving Ben and Jerry's.

Valentine's Day is so played out, there is nothing new I can say about it. There is no epiphany I can have that you will not find somewhere else on the internet. Is it because I'm not that intelligent? Possibly. Is it because I've had a fever for four days and my body constitution is 70% chicken noodle soup? More likely. But here we go, I'm talking about love anyways. Because it's February 14th and I'm too committed to this to back out now (**cracks knuckles**). 

So courtesy of my friends and family, I'm going to share the worst relationship advice I have ever received. I will not call them out because I am not a bitch, but they know who they are. 

1) "He's doing [insert action] because he likes you"
This is said to me and others ALL THE DAMN TIME. This is a lie that is well illustrated in He's Just Not That Into You. It's unfair to assume that everything a guy does is to get in your pants. Maybe he paid for your coffee because you looked like a tired piece of trash, not because he thinks your cute. Maybe he asked you to come to the party because he thought you'd bring your sister, the girl he is actually into (Side note: If you think that's too specific to be a made up example, you're right. This has actually happened to me). Maybe he booty-called you because he's drunk... sorry let me correct myself: he definitely booty-called you because he's drunk. My point is there is a list of 300 reasons someone might do something, only 1 of which being "he likes you". Do the math. 

2) "He texted you 20 minutes later, so you have to wait at least 10 minutes" 
Who has the time in their life to do this kind of math every time you want to send a text to a guy. And serious question: do guys do this shit too? Is it just girls? Dear God I hope so. If I see a text and don't respond right away, I am nearly guaranteed to never respond to that text. This has led to my mom calling me asking "why haven't you responded to my text" at least 7 times in 2019. He sent you a text because he wants you to respond, so respond. I have a lot of thoughts on "texting etiquette" and I'm not going to get into it but basically, respond when you want to respond. I doubt he's looking at the time stamps.

And the worst advice I have received, regarding boys, in my 20 years on this earth *drum roll*:
3) "Just wait for him to make a move" 
Why?

Oh, surprise surprise, you have no good answer. Girls complain about being single but won't ask out the boys that they have crushes on I DON'T UNDERSTAND. It's so unfair to expect guys to make the first move while we are afraid to do it ourselves. Also, isn't it better to just rip the band-aid off, ask, and get your answer? Do you know how much time I would have saved in my life if I stopped waiting around for guys and just got my answers when I wanted them? Ladies, just ask your man out, we do it on Bumble, do it in real life. 

So that's the worst advice I've ever received. And maybe in certain situations and for certain people that advice is actually very necessary. As well, I'm not saying that there isn't a game that needs to be played when it comes to flirting and getting involved with people, but it is also important to be honest with yourself and others about what you want. 

So Happy Valentine's Day friends. I hope you get what you want out of today; a bubble bath, a nice dinner, a movie night or just getting off your feet for a couple hours before the next day begins. As for me? I'll be riding out the last of my bronchitis (maybe I'll tell that story later), at home, in bed, rewatching The Office. And remember: chocolate goes on sale tomorrow. 

From me, with love, to you, 
-Victoria