I Don't Know About You, But I'm Feeling...23

I feel old, but also very not old. I guess the word would be young. I feel old and young simultaneously. I have an apartment and a job that could lead to a career, but I woke up on Halloween in my childhood bed and the only things in my purse were a bottle of tequila and a bag of candy. It’s a dichotomy my life.

Your 20’s are weird. My Instagram feed is full of engagement rings and my LinkedIn is popping off with people starting careers, but for every engagement ring there is someone binge drinking on a Monday night living unemployed in their parent’s basement. And both are equally likely and equally acceptable. More importantly, it’s so easy to oscillate between these extremes. You can go from the top of the world to rock bottom really quickly, and vice versa. Less than a year ago I was unemployed due to lockdown and living in my parent’s house. It’s a quick turn around.

And when these extremes exist, it also means you can live anywhere along the spectrum in between. There are an infinite number of options in your 20s and that makes it all the more terrifying because figuring out what you’re supposed to be doing is much harder. I still have so many questions. (Okay, that’s a low bar to set because if you’ve spent 10 minutes with me you know I ask a lot of questions, but still). I’m not sure what I’m doing or where I want to go or how to get there and frankly it’s a little overwhelming. With the hopes of getting some stuff out of my head and free up some brain space, let’s ask 23 questions about life so far:
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There are an infinite number of options in your 20s and that makes it all the more terrifying because figuring out what you’re supposed to be doing is much harder.

1. Are there people who actually floss regularly or is it a myth that dentists tell you?
2. Can you buy Pillsbury cookies dough and not eat any cookie dough?
3. Am I ever going to take my Master’s or am I lying to myself?
4. You say “bless you” after someone sneezes, what do you say after they cough?
5. Am I too tall?
6. Is it possible to be happy with the way you look, or will you always have underlying insecurities? (See above question for reference)
7. Why do people believe in horoscopes?
8. What instrument should I learn to play next?
9. How do you know that you’re in love with someone?
10. Why does the English language have so many silent letters? It feels disrespectful.
11. Can you own too many mugs? If so, what number is max number of mugs that are appropriate to own?
12. Will I ever be anxiety-free or am I too far in for that to be possible?
13. Do different alcohols actually cause different types of “drunk” or is it a placebo?
14. Do Disney adults know that the rest of the internet makes fun of them?
15. Am I difficult to love?
16. At what age do engagements start being “exciting” and not “a bad idea”?
17. Where does the dryer put all those missing socks?
18. When we all fall asleep where do we go? (…Billie)
19. Why do people (including myself) feel the need to keep wine bottle corks?
20. Is laser hair removal worth the money?
21. Why do some people dream and some people don’t?
22. Where is the scarf, Jake?
23. When do you become an adult, or do you just wake up one day and realise you’re already adult-ing?

All in all, I’m happy with my 23rd year. I’m happy with my job and my apartment and my roommate who puts up with all my shit and my friends who put up with all my shit and my family who…I think you get the point.

I’m happy that I’m happy. That I’m healthy. That I’m back in the studio. I’m not super excited about turning 23, but you can’t stop time, so I won’t lose too much sleep over that. I guess if I read this back in a couple years, that’s what I would want to know. That I’m happy. Happy Birthday to Me.
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From me, with love, to you,
-Victoria