There aren’t quite words to explain how this all feels. And if we’re being honest with each other (which we always have been), then I have to tell you not all the feelings are good feelings. Dread? Stress? Fear? Those all make the list. Along with joy, relief, and euphoria.
Records & Honesty the EP has taught me more lessons than I had expected it to. It taught me confidence in my music. It taught me to call myself an artist rather than referring to it as a “passion project” or “hobby”. It taught me patience. I’m often one to jump the gun and make a mistake, but this project took 2 years. Arguably, too long. But you only get to go first once – unless you’re me because this is my 2nd first album.
But it’s here. And even though I am writing this right down to the wire, and part of me wishes I had more time. I could stretch the seconds thin, until they were hours. And I could use those hours to film more Reels, Shorts, and TikToks. Run more analytics. Make more ads. Pitch to more playlists. Invite more people to my show. All the things that never end up fitting in the 24 hours of a day, I’m also just happy it’s here. I’m happy that this thing that has only really existed amongst me and a handful of people is out in the world.
I think when you’re a small artist, you always have this pipe dream that someone will stumble upon your work and call it genius. You’ll become an “overnight sensation”. But as you dig further into your music career you realize that is a façade. There is no overnight sensation. The people who “blow up” have been grinding day in and day out. Spending pennies they don’t have on producers they can’t afford.
And I’ve had to remind myself over and over during this project that it’s enough. Everything I have is enough. Stable growth, a small audience, to headline a venue, all of that is enough. And I look back on the days I was begging to reach 1,000 followers on Instagram, and that seems silly now. Not a single song on The Blue Book Project reached 1,000 streams, whereas all my current songs have.
But most importantly, I look at this project and I’m proud. I wrote the song Records & Honesty in 2019 when I was in love with a boy who was never going to love me back. I wrote it raw and unfiltered and it reminded me how to be in love with music. Records & Honesty the EP follows close behind in its integrity. It holds no punches, and you really get to hear how my life has been, even when it’s not pretty.
I want to take a moment to thank a couple of people. My mom and dad who have stood by me day in and day out in order to get this project done. My sisters who are simply my forever people. My best friend who came to studio days and music video shoots and has been my biggest fan since we were 13 and I was sending her voice memos on my Blackberry of just brutal fucking songs. My boyfriend who has listened to maybe 1 too many stressed rants over the last year. My producer, Dan Hosh, who made the record of my dreams. My friends for listening and streaming and sharing and coming to shows and being just 10/10 humans. And of course, everyone who has made it to the bottom of the page. I can’t believe she’s finally here. This is Records & Honesty.
From me, with love, to you,
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