Shooting Your Shot

Ladies and gentlemen, 

Liking someone is the worst. Like, really liking someone. You know, in that grade school way, when your friends would ask you if you like like someone? It's the worst. Having a crush is just a childish way to say unreciprocated feelings. And anyone who has ever liked anyone knows that unreciprocated feelings hurt like a bitch. 

But how do you know that they're unreciprocated? In some ways you never really know. You can beat around the bush forever trying in interpret poorly communicated signals. You can dip your toes in the water over and over again trying to figure out what the other person meant. Did they mean to brush your hand? Do they see that memory as significant too? Do they miss you like you miss them? You can sit with your friends and reread text messages until you go blind trying to figure out if someone likes you, and you may never actually know the answer. You could just be two people running in circles never actually meeting. 

UNLESS. 

Unless you shoot your shot. And for those of you who don't know the phrase, "to shoot your shot" is a verb and it means to just outright let someone know how you feel. To just ask someone out, tell them how you feel and pray to the good Lord that they say the same thing. I've shot my shot before. I did it with my ex, I called him while I was on vacation and just told him I was into him and if he felt the same way that was great and if not then that was okay too. I proceeded to immediately hang up the phone and leave my phone for two hours on "do not disturb". Why? Because part of me didn't want to know the answer, it was a Schrodinger's cat situation; if I put it out there and never heard the answer I couldn't receive a "no".  I was quaking in my boots and I still get a little butterfly-ish thinking about it. I still get butterfly-ish if I shoot my shot today. Because what if you get shot down?

What if you build up the courage and you shoot and completely miss the target? And man, I've missed before. I've shot my shot and missed so bad. Like trying to hit a moving target, blindfolded, riding a horse. It hurts; it kind of takes the wind out of you. It's like a bad hangover, it rattles in your brain and makes your stomach turn and you keep thinking, "what if I waited? Maybe I jumped the gun and if I gave it more time they would've fallen for me?" 

Being honest with you, they probably won't. And I hate saying that, because there have definitely been times in my past, my present and likely in my future where I've been waiting on a guys to realise I'm a damn treat. But they're never going to see me that way. And why do I want people who don't see me that way? I don't know. The older I get the more I think I know nothing. But if you've had enough time to develop feelings and sit on them and dwell on them and they haven't done the same thing, they probably won't. And it's not because you're wrong, it's not even because they're wrong, it's because...well I don't know. But sometimes people just don't work out. 

However, back to my original point, you never really know where someone is at until you shoot your shot. And you could sit around waiting for them to shoot their's, but what good is that doing anyone? Plus, if you don't have the courage to shoot, why would they? And girls, we are the biggest culprits in this scenario. Yes, years of female suppression have led to a twisted patriarchy, and woot woot, go feminism. But we have to be honest with ourselves and recognise in this scenario, guys are really getting the short end of the stick. We always expect them to whisk us off our feet and ask us out. But if you won't do it, why do you expect them to?

But coming from someone who's done it before, trust me, it's better than waiting, because at least you know. If it's a yes you get to ride off into the sunset together and if not, it's closure. It's the closure that everyone is looking for. In the age of "ghosting" being a (somehow) acceptable form of dating etiquette, closure is more than most of us get. And sure, for a couple days you might wake up with an emotional hangover but in time I promise it will be better. 

So what inspired this little rampage? The other day my friend shot her shot with a guy she's into. And I mean really shot her shot. And I was proud of her. She saw something she wanted and she went for it. She saw someone who made her feel amazing and outstanding (which she is) and she let him know. When it comes down to it that's the best thing you can do. Just do it (sponsored by Nike?). 

So my goal for 2020 for all of you is to shoot your shot. Quit waiting on your feelings, go out there and take a risk. I know that's a big ask, but it's a big year. I've got some feelings I've definitely been sitting on and maybe I'll shoot my shot too. Hopefully this time I won't be trying to hit a moving target, blindfolded, riding a horse. I mean, aren't you tired of waiting around on people to tell you that you're special? You are a damn treat so go after the things you want and happy 2020. 

From me, with love, to you, 
-Victoria