Steady

I get caught up in the wind and I start to drift

I debated writing this a little bit, the song is really personal, and sharing it's meaning was something I found kind of stressful. But I also wanted to explain it because a) it's a song I'm really proud of and b) I love the meaning behind songs just as much, if not more, than just the song itself, so I figured there are a couple people out their who share this feeling with me. 

I wrote Steady last fall. It had been a year since I had been in a serious relationship and I had spent the last year trying to ground myself. My previous relationship had been passionate and all-consuming, meaning the burn out was overwhelming. And in the absence of this relationship I had filled my life with things that I hadn't otherwise been able to: music, friends, philanthropy, and school all took front seats in my life for the first time in a while. 

I keep locked on the shore with nothing to look for

All these big changes meant big highs as well as big lows. And this place where someone used to be, where someone used to bear the weight of my life, was empty. And I was pushing through on my own. While I'm grateful for the role my friends and family took in filling this space, there is something unique about having one person that is yours. 

So while I was happy being single and I had built this life I was so proud to be living, I started reaching the point in which I was ready to start dating again. In the fantastic words of Ed Sheeran "Success is nothing if you have no one there left to share it with". So I decided to throw my hat back in the ring. I started flirting with guys again, I went on Bumble and (oh dear God) Tinder, just to see what was out there. 

The way this heart moves gets the best of me

And it wasn't long before I developed a bit of a crush. But that's the thing about crushes, they bubble up and fizzle out, leaving you kind of hollow. And it happened again and again. The bubble and fizzle. Nothing of significance, just more frustrating than anything. I was frustrated that I felt like I was ready, but nobody else was. I was frustrated that I couldn't just settle on one person. I was frustrated that I felt like I was liking people for the sake of liking people and not because I thought anything would come of these crushes. 

Steady was a way to express the fact that while nothing of any true substance had occurred, I was still getting tousled around. I was still trying to find my bearings and genuinely was unable to do so. ​

I get caught up in you, the things that you do

So that's what Steady is about. Just being in this void when it comes to your love-life. Where nothing happens, but you still feel like you're putting in all this energy. That feeling where you are begging yourself to find one person and settle down, but you can't. Where you're so unsure about what you want out of a relationship, you can't possibly know the right kind of people to look for. 

So no, Steady is not about a particular person, I'm sorry to disappoint. It's about a feeling, one I hope you can relate to. 

The way this heart moves gets the best of me

If you want to hear me play this as well as other new music, Friday March 1st I will be at the Roxy at 7:30pm! 

From me, with love, to you, 
​-Victoria