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The Chicken Finger Rule

8/26/2021

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A little over a month ago, my sister and I were coming back from my aunt’s cottage. My younger sister and I have an agreement that driving on the highway must involve a fast-food pit stop, and for this particular adventure we had settled on A&W because – in my sister’s opinion – they have the best chicken fingers. So, my sister and I sat in me mom’s car (vroom vroom) and we ate our respective chicken fingers.

Of course, when eating chicken fingers, you have to talk about how amazing chicken fingers are. And in discussing the food, I said, “Wouldn’t it be disappointing to date someone who doesn’t like chicken fingers?” Which would be disappointing. There is something oddly wonderful about eating fast-food in the front seat of a car.

I think a lot about red flags and deal breakers when it comes to boys. More because it’s a fun topic of conversation than anything else. But also, I think it tells you a lot about a person. For example, my cousin loves old movies and old music (not that old, but old-ish), so she finds it a bit off putting when someone doesn’t listen to old music. She says that in the long run, they likely wouldn’t work out.

Which brings me back to chicken fingers. I think it might be a red flag if someone doesn’t like chicken fingers. More importantly, if someone thinks they’re too good for chicken fingers. It’s not even that chicken fingers are my favourite fast-food. I would probably pick poutine 9 times out of 10. But I would never kick chicken fingers out of bed. I want someone who can sit at a dirty old pub or a roadside McDonald’s and bond over a box of McNuggets. 
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Additionally, I don’t want someone who’s a picky eater. As I’ve mentioned, I like my nuggets, but I also like fancy food. I like getting dressed up and spending a pretty penny on a bottle of wine and risotto. I want to go to a sushi restaurant and try foods I ne-
And thus, the chicken finger rule was born.
ver have, whether or not I ever eat them again. I want to eat Indian food so spicy that I reconsider every life decision up until that point. And whilst on these food adventures, I don’t want to drag around a significant other that tries to order chicken fingers at every turn.

And thus, the chicken finger rule was born. A window in which there is the correct appreciation for chicken fingers. You want to date someone who will eat drunk nuggets with you, but also not try to order tenders while out for Korean food. The chicken finger rule.

It might seem trivial, to place so much importance on chicken fingers, a food which I rank behind poutine, burgers, and nachos. However, the chicken fingers represent a bit more than chicken fingers. It’s more about the person’s attitude towards life. You want someone who can be messy and silly and enjoy simple Big Mac, but also feels comfortable eating squid ink and reading a wine list. I guess it’s all about being flexible. It’s all about going with the flow and being able to take life as it comes, with all weird and wonderful adventures. It’s all about finding someone to eat chicken fingers with at a roadside A&W.

From me, with love, to you,
-Victoria
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P.S. This is my second dating theory that is based around fast food. If you want to read about “getting Big Mac’ed” that’s below 😊. 
Big Mac
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