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We Need To Talk About Twitter

5/10/2019

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So, I'm not sure who noticed but I got Twitter. I'm not fussed if nobody noticed, I wasn't stoked about the idea of getting Twitter in the first place. Therefore, I didn't advertise it the way I likely should have, nor have I been as active as I could have. But I got Twitter, or I guess re-got Twitter. 

Yes, once upon a time I had a Twitter account. When I was 14 I had a terribly cringey Twitter account which served one purpose: proof that adolescents should not be on social media. It was full of terrible jokes and pop culture references I didn't understand well enough to comment on. It made me uncomfortable and self-conscious of everything I said. 

So, if I didn't really want Twitter, why did I get it? Social media platforms can be a lot to manage and I consistently complain about not having enough time in my day. If I'm being honest I felt a little obligated. Not because I'm delusional and think people need to hear my thoughts. My inner thoughts are pretty mundane and consist primarily of random trains of thought that my sisters have to endure. But I felt that as an aspiring artist, I needed to make sure I was using all my outlets to reach as many people as possible. So I got Twitter. 

But turns out, I still hate Twitter.

Why ?

There are two main reasons. The first being I'm not "Twitter funny". Keeping up with trends on Twitter is insanely difficult, within the hour the world has shifted its attention to a new topic of conversation and if you didn't get your 280 characters down in that time, you're old news. Trends on Instagram or even Facebook for that matter last at least a day or two, whereas Twitter's constant updates mean even when you're ahead of the game, you're behind. And frankly I'm not that funny in the way Twitter wants you to be. I'm not the short, witty, funny that fits into a sentence or two. I mean, don't get me wrong, I've made people laugh before and if I really try I can tell a funny story. But when you think "Victoria", funny is not a defining attribute and I'm okay with that, that's why I'm in music and not comedy. So, the half of people on Twitter that are looking for a laugh, won't necessarily be hunting for my account. 

And the 2nd reason. If your not the 50% of the Twitter population looking for a laugh, you're looking at a political argument, a public shaming, or controversial issue. I'm going to speak very briefly on this, because my political opinion shouldn't matter to anyone. I'm not a politician and unless its in the comfort of friends or contextually fits into a discussion, there's no need for me to chime in. I mean I'll tag along in the social-media-political gossip if someone is doing something I feel incredibly strong about, but other than that I like to keep my (frankly) unimportant political opinions to myself. 

And there are other tiny reasons I don't like Twitter. It feels vain thinking that my moment-to-moment thoughts are important enough to force other people to see, I don't feel like I have the time to keep up with it, and I'm just not that in-tune with how it works. Logically, you've all arrived at one conclusion: 

"Victoria, just stop complaining and FUCKING DELETE TWITTER"

And to that I say: "I CAN'T". 

I like Twitter. Don't get me wrong, I still hate it. But now I like it. I still maintain all my previous beliefs, and my Twitter is an embarrassing example of a social media profile, but I can't delete it. I keep wanting to get better, be better and say something funny, and instead make two consecutive tweets about birds as if I'm taking a degree in ornithology. 

Anyways, at least there's always Instagram. 

From me, with love, to you, 
-Victoria ​

​P.S. 
My Twitter
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