Ladies and gentlemen,
I feel like we need to chat.
SO, over the last little bit this here public diary of mine has been getting a bit more traction. And in no way am I upset about this; I am so appreciative of all the people who have started/continue reading my posts. I remember when it was proposed I write a blog I shat all over the idea. However, with time, I've taken to it. I've always liked writing; writing stories, music, poems and, apparently, blogs. None of the stories I ever tell are fictional. I stick to the truth because that's the only way to get others to tell you the truth. And if I started bending stories in my more light-hearted posts, how would I have any credibility when I started writing about mental health or self-image or other more serious topics? I wouldn't.
However, this is all still my opinion. There are no citations, this blog is made up of personal anecdotes and the inner workings of my mind. But just because it’s my opinion, that doesn’t mean that I take it lightly. I send it to my sisters, my friends, sometimes my mom proofreads them. This post will be read by six people and rewritten four times before it makes it out to a public platform. Why? Because this blog is still part of my professional platform as a musician and I treat it as such, I never want to post something just for the sake of. I want to post something to say something. I write about mental health because I think it's important to talk about. I write about problems in my life because I want to let people know that I'm going through the same thing. I write about people because, well, everyone interacts with people?
But in light of more traction, I really should’ve seen recent events coming. Because with more with more traction, you risk offending more people. This public diary started off as only being read by my friends and family. People who hear me speak in real life. Who understand that I like to tell jokes. Who see the sentences I type and go "Oh and I know exactly how that is being phrased"; but people are now reading it who haven't heard me speak. And it make sense that they don't get that I'm making jokes because they have never actually heard me speak.
So, in hopes of clarifying old posts and future posts, we're going to break down two posts that I've been getting some…feedback… about, to make sure we're all on the same page from here on out:
Men are Trash: Okay. Boys. I feel like we just need to re-take a look at the tone of voice I used in this piece. I meant it purely and 100% in a comedic tone of voice. I don't genuinely think all men are trash, but “men can be trash” doesn’t have the same ring to it.
Moreover, this post came from specific instances in my life. Reason #1 came from the story I told in the post. Reason #2 came from a conversation I had with my cousin. Reason #3 came from a boy I had been...friendly.... with early in the year. 1, 2, 3. And upon telling these stories to my friends, who were also interested in the XY chromosome individuals, I found they shared similar experiences. So I wanted to share this because I feel like maybe other people could relate.
I didn't write, post or repost this post to create a male-witch hunt. It's not the 1600's and witches aren't real. I wrote this post for my readers who were frustrated about looking for men and felt like they were constantly coming up short. I wrote this in the same way you commiserate with friends over drinks at a bar.
Men aren’t actually trash. They can be. So can women. We are all trash from day to day.
The Reason I Don't Want to Go Home For the Holidays: Also comedic, but I wrote this to let other students know that I was nervous to go home. I was nervous to tell my friends and family “I want to be a musician” because it felt like saying “I want to be a pretty princess”. Statistically, the odds are the same.
No, I don’t actually hate going home. The title was overdramatic to grab your attention (which I mentioned), and trust me, it grabbed attention. The point of it was just to identify how stressful it can be expressing overly aspirational career goals. It wasn't about the adults in my life, it was about the students.
So. I'm not going to take these posts back, because they’re my opinion. And you don’t have to agree with my opinion, because it’s mine not yours. But please remember, this isn’t a real, credible source of information, unless you want information about me. This is for fun. Read this for fun. Read this because you enjoy it, because you want to support me.
And maybe this is all my fault. I mix up my heavy and my light posts. But that's because this would be fucking depressing if I just talked about depression. If you guys want, I can start putting big notices at the top saying "sarcastic" or "serious", but that seems like a bit of a buzzkill doesn't it? I'm sorry if you got offended. But I’m beginning to learn I can’t make everyone happy. If I talked about puppies, people would be upset I’m not talking about kittens. If I talk about drinking tea, the coffee drinkers will feel left out.
Don't be offended by my opinion because I'm just a 21 year old who is using this website to vent into the open void that is the internet. But I can’t say that I’m going to stop writing, because it makes me genuinely happy. It makes me genuinely happy when people can find comfort in the things I’m saying, and they do. Or at least, they tell me that they do. I do these things because it relieves stress and life is stressful.
Growing up, my mama had one phrase in her arsenal she used over and over again:
"If it wasn't meant to be mean, don't take it that way"
And my mama is a very smart woman. Listen to my mama. This website is meant to be a fun place (maybe a little sad when I talk about anxiety...but mainly fun). So, treat it that way. But it can also be a discussion if you want. There's a comment section at the bottom of every post, so fucking go for it. I mean...I am.
So that's all I wanted to say. I'm going to return to my regular scheduled programming now.
From me, with love, to you,
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